Here’s my Idli dabba

“6 idlis” for lunch on Tuesday after a peaceful long weekend. It definitely doesn’t sound great for a Tam brahm youngster who’s born and brought up in a cosmopolitan city and is stuck in this identity crisis of ‘being non-tam’  with colleagues and friends, yet forced to be one in her community.  It’s high time Tam moms realize that even if they put custard on it, it will not go down our throats. Every third day is a festival. Every fourth day some prayers and offerings have to be done.  

If the crow is not fed before we sit down to eat, our forefathers souls will be disheartened.  I remember one of my aunt’s pointing out to a crow that sat on our parapet wall daily and saying, ‘This is your grandfather. That’s why he sits here daily”. I don’t remember the expression I gave to that and choose not to.  Life is meticulously planned by them. Day starts at 5.30 am for which they will keep a 5.20 alarm. Read ‘alarum’ (that’s how they pronounce it). 

They won’t touch food before having a bath and reciting ‘gayatri mantras, shiva chants, ganpati’s wife’s prayers (they will create an idol even if there is none like that)’.  If you live in a South Indian co-operative housing society, you have to chant these prayers, because only ‘gods’ can help you. There are social gatherings in the typical ganpati temple, where there are ‘ayappa bhajan groups’, ‘sathya sai baba groups’, ‘bhajanotsavam groups’ (I myself don’t know about this group), ‘shiv parvati bhajan groups’ and many more that cannot be found on facebook.  They do not believe in zodiac birthdays, only ‘star birthdays’.  Typically, your grandparents or mother will ask the temple pandit to do some ‘archana’ (again prayers, offerings, aarti ) for you on your star birthday and what you get in return as ‘prasaad’ is a weird camphor smelling small plastic container having this sweet submerged in oil.  

Everyone is your maternal uncle or maternal aunt, since we address them as ‘maama’ and ‘maami’. Someone in their family has to be a banker. IIM or IIT passed, yet an accountant or a general manager. Every festival begins at 4 am. I remember one such festival, where we are supposed to look at only gold and other riches as soon as we get up, nothing else. Not even your own face. So my mother drags me by my arm from the bed and makes me sit in front of the valuables. What sort of a festival is this?  

Every culture definitely has its pros and cons, but not such mentally harassing ones.  If Tam brahms would rule the world, I’m sure monuments like Leaning Tower of Pisa would be called ‘Shiva Tandavam’ and there would be stories about lord shiva performing one of his dances here and hence the tower stoops. Even if you go to Goa for a vacation, they will hunt for a temple. If you talk to these tamilian oldies their breath will smell of filter coffee.  As much as the non-tam brahm folks love it, I find it unbearable. 

The lungi is not just a lungi. It’s also their towel, their hanky, their tissue and hence it’s pale yellow.  All said and done Idlis cannot be consumed for lunch or dinner. It is a breakfast dish and cannot be an omnipresent one. So, there I donate my idli dabba gleefully to my colleagues as I relish the Gujarati dal bhaati.